"This Isn't a Goddamn Cheeseria..."

"...it's a fuckin coffee shop."

Wise, wise words from my new boss and adopted mother, Zahra.

So, how do I feel after my first week of employment? Well, mostly pretty fucking tired, and currently quite hungover. As my alchohol consumption from last night will prevent me from posting anything more profound, here is a list of crap that I've learned from my brief (so far) stint at Cafe International.

1. It is really hard to pour Hoeggarden all day and not drink one.
2. If you work at a family owned restarant, don't let your boss catch you not eating.
3. Getting a big stack of cash every Sunday is the closest thing I know to god.
4. On that note, the second closest thing I know to god is showing my tattoos at work (sleeveless shirts...mmmmm).
5. San Franciscans are apparently very fond of Seattleites and like to tip them exorbitantly.
6. I have the same job as Valerie "I can't work a fax machine" Schoenholtz. That's the end of that thought. Just had to process that for a second.
7. You know your job is cool when you decide to get your nose pierced to match your boss and her daughter.
8. Having a group of drug dealers that watch your back is a very good thing to have in Lower Haight, especially if you enjoy your car stereo.
9. Selling an addictive product (coffee guys, coffee) to bartenders is cool. They have a tendancy to remember that fact when you visit thier bars later (read--stiff drinks and cheaper beers).
10. And finally, when a customer asks for cheese, just give them swiss. Don't ask which kind they want, even if you have like, three or four different kinds. Swiss. Just do it. After all, this isn't a goddamn cheeseria, it's a fuckin' coffee shop.

Allright guys, I'm gonna call Ashley and go to sleep.

Oh sweet Jesus, sleep is amazing.

Oh, also--I PROMISE I'm going to write today. New piece soon guys.


Nick said...

I usually give customers a pickle, even if they don't ask for one. I place it nicely on the side of their dish. An old marketing teacher told me to do it, "you gotta give 'em the pickle," he said. Fine. Pickles it is.

charles.bukowski.costanza said...

glad shit is settling in for ya sweetie -- you have sauntered into my thoughts quite often in recent days. i miss ya far more than i have any right to... m.

Jackson said...

A pickle in the hand equals a slap against a face I always say. Wait. WTF! Nevermind. Seattle is missing an integral cog in the wheel of all that is good and holy! We want our space needle back damn it!