Rally the Troops, Yo!

A long, long time ago (last week) in a land very far away (Canada), there were...


Every member of The Slaughterhouse Five has now completed thier paragraphs, and now it is time to reveal who the judges are, and thier reactions to being asked to be a judge. Note that this post will be updated as more judges are added.

  • Errant Philisophical Ramblings

  • "Of course I'd love to throw a judgement out there... let me know when you've got the final statements in."

  • My Life...and Stuff

  • "Hey!!  I'm 4sure aware of the whole arguements and everything going on...its HILARIOUS!!  I'll definentely check out ur blog when the post goes up...and i'll b w8n 4 the essays!!  Good idea to do all this...its awesome entertainment!!"

  • Hello, World!

  • "Sounds great! Please count me in. I can't wait to see those essays."

  • Eggroll, Bagel, Cookie, Vengeance (Four Ninja Food Groups)

  • "I got your e-mail on the Slaughterhouse 5 and I am excited. It just so happens that I have experience judging debate competitions for the college debate circuit.  Its funny, but true. You're right, It should be fun."

  • B-Sides

  • "I'm game."

  • The Ill Quill

  • "I hate Canadians, especially Mike Weir. Fuck that guy. Y'all hosers are doomed."
    - Justice Quill

  • Deuce the Duck

  • "Ohh yes, I am in. I am in like Flynn, and I don't even know who that is. I am in like bling on your cell phone, in like a Mocha Frappuchino, in like liesure suits.....er....wait....
    Send it to me! I shall be able to spread my powerful influence even further into the internet! mwah ha ha ha *cough* ha ha ha!"

  • Kiddie Pool Depth Thoughts

  • "OK I'm in, but you should know that judging will be a collaborative effort between Carrie and me. She digs your blog but hasn't got a site of her own and doesn't want to be 'some creepy anonymous [fucker]'."

  • The Random Writings of a Redheaded Freakazoid

  • "I'd love to be a judge."

  • Beer Notes

  • "What the shit...I'm in."

  • Anonymous Midwest Girl

  • "I'm in! Sounds like fun!"

  • Playing Chicken With Marsala

  • "Thanks for the invite to join the blog wars. Sounds fun! Just let me know what to do and I'll gladly comply. Unless you want me to ride Space Mountain after eating a large pepperoni pizza and 32 ounces of Gatorade. Then I might kindly decline."

  • A Pile to Step In.

  • "Thank you so much for asking. Yes, I would love to be a judge."


  • Big D: "Bud, why are we even in this shit? We haven't even posted on our blog!"
    Counts: "Well I totally can't post on it--Slutty-Slutty Bang-Bang is always on the goddamn computer worried about her little 'Blog War' or whatever."
    Big D: "Bud, when's happy hour?"
    Counts: "What bud? Sorry. I'm kinda fucked up."

    If you have not been asked to be a judge and want to, drop me a line--but in 48 hours, I will stop accepting new applicants for judges and begin to post thier paragraphs one at a time in 24 hour intervals in the order I received them. This will give us a chance to deliberate, and also a chance for you, the reader, to come to your own decision. Final decisions will be posted within a day after the last essay is posted.

    For now, I'll leave you with this:

    Treat me so and I shall hate you soon,
    he the dead will justly hate you too.
    Say that I am mad and madly let me risk
    the worst that I can suffer, and the best;
    a death that martyrdom will render blest.

    --Sophocles, Antigone

    Same blog time, same blog channel. Stay tuned.


    Thaozee said...

    Yo Miranda, Sorry I haven't replied lately. I would love to be a Judge, but I'm on some kind of week long bender for my friend's birthday (Day 3 tonight..) which means all my time will be spent either shaking my money maker, or trying to keep my brain from falling out. I'll be watching though....always watching... *shifty eyes* :)

    wasssa said...

    Hey Miranda, I just sent you the MOTHER OF ALL EMAILS. Well....it's not really the mother, maybe like the second cousin that nobody likes and throws used tissues at. But I'm in. :-D

    Pray for Mojo said...

    OK I'm in, but you should know that judging will be a collaborative effort between Carrie and me. She digs your blog but hasn't got a site of her own and doesn't want to be "some creepy anonymous [fucker]".

    Herman said...

    Umm....quick question. Will we ever SEE the paragraphs that everyone wrote. Cause I'n curious to see what tripe the others have pulled together in an effort to defend their terrible opinions

    Peace and so on

    Chaz said...

    Wait and see, Herman. Wait and see...Mwahahaha!

    Oh, and also, if you read the post you would have clearly noticed that the answer is yes.

    Chaz out.

    Herman said...

    Chaz, you also fail to see that I don't read; I merely scan for my name (hence, my irritation at the first post in blog wars).

    Peace and so on

    Herman said...

    Oh, and by the by, Miranda, I now love you becuase you too love Ben Folds (my guilty pleasure).

    That is all

    Peace and so on

    A Cranky Old Jew said...

    A thought occured to me today:

    "I have a feeling that if you were writing a book about your relationship with one of your friends, the chapter entitled 'And then I sodomized his mother' would probably be the last chapter."

    Take that as you will.

    Also, can't wait to see everyone else's essays, mostly because of how pitiful they'll look when compared to mine.

    Much love,

    Erika said...

    I've seen ALL the paragraphs...they're all VEEEERY interesting!! None of you should be as confident as you appear to be!!

    charles.bukowski.costanza said...

    my sweets::thanks for your (DRUNK) birthday message. i would love to hear your voice sometime today. i hesitate to say you are "wise beyond your years," but that is because you persist in being totally hot; Wise and Hot do not seem to belong next to each other. oh! i know! you are sagely. sagely and sexy and sassy and that is alliterative and true and fun. i'm bummed i got left off the judging list -- but this shall be fun. and, the comments i've gotten aren't totally random -- i've read and commented on chaz and petunia and a couple of the others. love (!!) mark.

    muffin said...

    This is all very hilarious and I am weeping inside that I have not kept up better with the computer-thingy. Harshly judging the inadequacies of others is one of life's greatest joys. I can't wait to see the winner, my spongy filling is steaming in anticipation.