9.27.2005

Whatzhecalled?

I was having a thought today.

It all started a month or so ago at the 525. We were all hanging out in my room, when a few people got up to leave. When Johnny was saying his goodbyes, he waved or shook everyones hand...except for Violet, who he hugged.
After the door clicked behind him, Bry was first to comment. "See, he hugged you. That's how I can tell you probably had sex."
They had.

Many of you know of my obsession with calling boys by thier full first names, although there are a couple of exceptions and I've come to realize how telling these exceptions are. So, without further ado, here is the semi-official lexicon of the various names I call boys, if they are not called by thier full first names.

Boys I love more than life that I've never slept with
Boys in this category often get an -ie or a -y attached to thier first name, i.e. Davey, Eddie, even the controversial (because clearly, it is girlie sounding) Kylie.

Boys I slept with, no longer sleep with, but still hang out with
There are two options for boys in this category. The first is that they get called by thier last names only i.e. Huntsman or even the occasional Harrison. The other option is that I'll call them a shortened and cute-pet-namey version of thier name, i.e. Case, Dee or Bry.

Boys I almost slept with, but didn't for whatever reason, and still hang out with
Boys in this category are called by thier last names as well, but with the addition of the pre-fix, Mr. i.e. Mr. Jackson.

Boys I am currently sleeping with
Boys in this category are consistently called Baby, but in a sort of offhanded casual way so that in crowded bars and the like, it seems like we might be just really good friends.

Boys who are somewhat younger than me, but that I am just friends with
Ironically enough, boys in this category are also refered to as Baby.

Boys who I slept with once who I don't hang out with anymore
Boys in this category consistently go by some rediculous nickname that my girlfriends and I toss around like hackey sacks, i.e. Freak Out, Flaccid Pants, Sexy Rexy, or Scabies Boy.

Hope that clears up any confusion. I know it has for me.
That being said, I am dedicating my life to breaking this habit--I can't beleive how obvious I've been. I'm such a flippin' idiot.
--M

1 comment:

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