Jordan Knight.

The Honest to god truth is, no one I know had sex with Jordan Knight last Saturday.

I'm sorry Nicholas, I tried, but I couldn't get my stories straight.


"I'd like to thank my nomad girlfriends..."

One might sit around, drunk no less, and contemplate who might play one in a film. Someone like me might consider Rosario Dawson or Gabrielle Union; but as some of you may know, my modest dreams were thwarted by the (possible) likes of Katie Holmes (bitch).
When one is faced with some toothy-grinned white girl playing your own bangin-assed self, one is forced to come up with some new drunken party game associated with fame. I bring to you: I'd Like to Thank the Academy.

This game is three parted.

1) Decide what you would wear to the Academy Awards.
2) Plan your acceptance speech.
3) Figure out who you will sleep with after the after parties.

Commence playing.

You're welcome.