3.01.2006

Against Me!

I have zero to Jen's five hot sex stories.

Davey wholeheartedly promises that I'll get my mojo back.

I got a note from Nick touting he's hoping I get laid.

My girlfriends are taking me out tonight to oggle hot ex-cons.

No really guys, I am fucking serious. I AM NOT HAVING SEX. EVER AGAIN. You don't have to try so hard to convince me otherwise.

But really though, take off that 'ever again' part and you have the honest to god truth. What, you think pretty boys and girls aren't glancing my way? They do everytime I leave the house (which, yes you're right, is not that often). Why I don't look back? Because all of them fucking make me sick. They are all fucking retarded (save one, but I think we've already been over that).

addendum to now ongoing new years resolution list:
9. I will not start sentances with the word 'because'.
--M

4 comments:

Queer Comandeer said...

I'm with you. I totally relapsed last night and drunkenly (think fall-down, not throw-up) went home with "are you having fun?" last night. I actually kicked myself for not calling tiny instead.

Queer Comandeer said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Milkshake said...

OMG!! I frikken hate that. "Are you okay? You doin' allright? You need anything?" OMG!! Ahhhhhh!! Case in point.

Milkshake said...

OMG!! I frikken hate that. "Are you okay? You doin' allright? You need anything?" OMG!! Ahhhhhh!! Case in point.