The Name Game

Davey brought up an interesting point.

~PhoenixRising said...
There is another David in your life... So I see that I get to continue on as Davey... it makes reading quotes work well. Though I'll have to go back to your name essay to remember why I get the -ey ending.

Ahh yes. Lets recap. From Whatzhecalled?, 9.27.06

1. Boys I love more than life that I've never slept with
Boys in this category often get an -ie or a -y attached to thier first name, i.e. Davey, Eddie, even the controversial (because clearly, it is girlie sounding) Kylie.

2. Boys I slept with, no longer sleep with, but still hang out with
There are two options for boys in this category. The first is that they get called by thier last names only i.e. Huntsman or even the occasional Harrison. The other option is that I'll call them a shortened and cute-pet-namey version of thier name, i.e. Case, Dee or Bry.

3. Boys I almost slept with, but didn't for whatever reason, and still hang out with
Boys in this category are called by thier last names as well, but with the addition of the pre-fix, Mr. i.e. Mr. Jackson.

4. Boys I am currently sleeping with
Boys in this category are consistently called Baby, but in a sort of offhanded casual way so that in crowded bars and the like, it seems like we might be just really good friends.

5. Boys who are somewhat younger than me, but that I am just friends with
Ironically enough, boys in this category are also refered to as Baby.

6. Boys who I slept with once who I don't hang out with anymore
Boys in this category consistently go by some rediculous nickname that my girlfriends and I toss around like hackey sacks, i.e. Freak Out, Flaccid Pants, Sexy Rexy, or Scabies Boy.

Of course, that was all before I was a serial re-runner. So now? Well, it's not so cut and dry anymore.
Now the categories have gotten all blurred, and so the names tend to go with them.

Now the Davey's and Eddie's and Kylie's of this world must relinquish the purity of thier category for someone who I've been referring to as "Seanie"--even though he's technically in category 2. And 4.
Other Shaun goes almost exclusively by "Boy Wonder", even though he's definitely a 2 and I should be calling him "Dunn".
And Nicholas...dude, I call him like 5 different things, albeit mostly "Mathisen".
I call no one baby anymore, except for Ron, who I've never slept with and is not that much younger than me. He should go by "Ronald" or "Ronny".
Clifford is still Anderson. Thank god.
And Quinn? He never even got a rediculous nickname like he should have, we just always call him "The Filmmaker". That's not even funny.

Well, at least Davey is still Davey, and I'm still on birth control.

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