"Quick! Call me Consuelo and make out with me!"


1. Tunnel Top. Bobby was there, amazingly enough. Me and Counts met up with Nicholas "Cassiola" Mathisen, Don Juan, and Matt The Ladies Man.

2. They took me to this frat bar in North Beach I haven't been to for forever. Some Irish guy hit on me.

3. There was this girl that The Ladies Man was hitting on who was dumb as dirt. I forgot what it said, but Cass and I wrote some nasty note on the back of my business card and slipped in in her bag.

4. Nearing bar time, She asked if we wanted to "keep the party going". I explained to her that I was unfortunately retiring to a private party of two, to which she replied, "Cool. So you wanna get some beers?" No. No, you stupid bitch, no.

5. Feminists don't change light bulbs.

6. Cass is clever as hell.

7. Oh, jokes. I get those.

8. Patrick still hasn't proposed. Any day now.

9. So a guy walks up to a cafe, and out front there's sign that reads:
then, right under that, it said;
He's super stoked, so he goes in, and the place is packed with guys, but he muscles up to the front of the line and yells out to the cashier.
"Hey!" he says, "are you the one giving out $10.00 handjobs?"
"Yeah." she says.
"Great," he says, "then wash your fucking hands and make me a cheese sandwich."

10. I hate it when the alarm goes off.


1 comment:

~PhoenixRising said...

ok... I need to call again sometime soon. Life has been hectic. Very hectic.

but it's all good. Threw the rowdiest rockinest house party ever. it was still strong when I stopped DJing at 4 am...