Top Eight

Hopefully there are some of you out there who have no idea what Top Eight means, and hopefully it's not because you're already too fully immersed in the Top Sixteen lifestyle. Yes kids, I speak of the unholy MySpace.

Like, okay. Here's a comment left by one kid I went to middle school with to another kid I went to middle school with.
Tim is in my top 8 because he put me on his softball team. You are not in my top 8 because:
a) You did not get HBO at your new apartMENt
b) You hated on "Entourage"
c) You made me walk ridiculously far on Saturday night after we "split" a cab ride.

I'm not even commenting about that.

In the last six months, I've known three couples that got together in a manner involving the top eight. ex: "Omigod, and then, today, I totally chacked his MySpace, and he totally put me in his Top Eight. Omigod. Omigod. We're hella in love."

Of course, there have also been several instances of the opposite happening. ex: "Dude, so we kinda got in this little fight last night, and then I checked his MySpace today, and he took me out of his Top Eight. What? It's so fucking over."

The point? Well, that I swear to god, if I put this blog on my MySpace profile, I'd have twice as many readers. And I hate that. And I hate the idea that the fucking internet is supposed to be nearly a tool to tell you how many friends you have, and which four, or eight, or sixteen are most important to you.

But mostly, I hate the word MySpace. Specifically when it is used as a verb.
My Top Eight?

1. Chainsmoking and drinking Guinness and writing in the middle of the night.
2. Taking a nap under an open window.
3. Skinny dipping.
4. Getting off an airplane.
5. Wearing PJ's with my girlfriends.
6. Drinking a draft Oly sitting on my stool @ the Duck.
7. Walking through Chinatown in the very early morning.
8. Finishing an essay.

[p.s.--Omigod, MySpace me later so we can meet up, K? CAMS at Element tonight, everyone's fucking going. Oh, and just to be frank: A HO DID GET OUT OF ALI'S DAD'S CAR IN 10TH GRADE IN THE PARKING LOT OF THE 'CAINE. Seriously. We all saw it.]

1 comment:

~PhoenixRising said...

I'm going to enact some metahate on you right now.

No, seriously, if I didn't use it to pass out music I'd have axed my myspace account. I might anyway.

What's this I hear about a party? You know I got records. And turntables. Why? Cause my names Little Bobby Fischer. Tcha!