Three lists. One, my own.

From Davey:

1. A white lexus to drive you to the edge of town.
(With the understanding that, in this instance, the edge of town being whatever the edge of town needs to be, and the lexus? Of course the lexus is whatever is needed to get to the edge of town)
2. The best cake you’ve ever had, EVER.
3. A quiet spoken asian man to fold your clothing, reheat your leftovers, and read to you until you fall asleep.
4. The biggest dream fulfilled.
5. 63 white candles floating on a private koi pond, with oversized geese wandering the shore.
6. A million air-miles.
7. The new pink.
8. A footnoted copy of All the times Miranda has Saved Us, with footnotes made by each person involved in particular saving moment.
9. Two words: Personal Cobbler
10. I miss you.

From Ron:


1. A Pony.
2. The Manolo Blahnik 'Carmine', size 41. So hot.
3. Frederic Michalak, naked and on all fours.
4. Child Pornography
5. Bottomless Basil Gimlet.
6. Rachael Ray's Head.
7. Actually, #3 is for me.
8. We never went to the paint store. Thus, paint.
9. Franklin [edit: this is the puppet from Arrested Development, not the president or whatever bill said president adorns]
10. Mexican Pharmaceuticals. Lots of 'em.
11. Your attendance at Ron's Fake Mustache Birthday Extravaganza! Location, date tba.

And finally, mine.

I've been going through my things and found my yearbooks. Here are the Ten funniest things people signed in them.

10. "Wow, what a crazy year. And who will forget the epic move from Bauhaus to Puss-Puss." --Henley, '96.
9. "Remember that time we watched Alive? Oh my god! BUTT ICE!" --Laura, '96
8. "YOU ARE SUCH A CRACK HO." --Meghan, '97
7. "Fuck yeah! We're so done with this place! Man, this school fucking sucks." --Caitlin, '97
6. "I wrote a haiku about you: A sign flashes 'show'/as you begin to walk by/it changes to ho." --Tim Berry, '97
5. "Everyone from the Orgy tent should totally meet up in like...10 years." --Peter Smith, '95
4. "Fuck that Garfield fucker CALEB, I still have his flannel, and I haven't burned it. Yet." --Elizabeth, '95
3. "I'll see you later if you come back next year. If not then maybe not." --Ed, '95
2. "You may have bigger hands than me, but I can beat the crap out of you! And don't think I don't know shit about you 'cause everyone knows Francis's mom is your shrink and he's my homie." --Bryce, '95
1. "I'm so glad I'm finally signing your yearbook. Even though you're leaving, let's never stop wearing black, okay?" --Carrie, '97

Hey Carrie?

Carrie Clark-Collier?

You still do too...right?



1 comment:

Nick said...

the mom's b-day list:

Christmas cactus
pampas grass
large pot for the deck
potting soil
coffee beans and grinder
golden retriever