2.11.2007

I was going to do Angelica's, but John's was funnier.

1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2007?
Yes. Hmmm.

2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE?
Yeah, Including the time I almost got arrested in Mexico.

3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX?
Funny sex is my favorite.

4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO, WHY?
Once that I can remember.

5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX?
Believe it or not, Yes.

6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE?
Everyone wants me to say the virgin, but I'm gonna go with the Irish guy on this one.

7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM?
Yes.

8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP?
Hmm, depends. Usually, I just want to shut the fuck up.

9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX:
Yes.

10. EVER MASTERBATE TO YOUR FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
Like...in front of them?

11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND?
No. Never. Oh goddammit! Those were my favorite pants!

12. EVER HAVE A THREESOME?
Amazingly enough, only twice. The others involved more people.

13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX?
Yeah, back when I had a TV, I kept it on a rolling cart.

14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX?
Actually, I can't remember ever doing this. On that note, it seems like I have.

15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKE?
Yeah, not too long ago, in fact.

16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRISING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE?
Probably the whole sex with Gabriel/The Rev in the middle of a denial sandwich debaucle.

17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY?
16.

18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW?
I can only pick one? Fuck, okay. If I get alive or dead, I'm gonna go with Carravagio.

19. DO YOU LIKE 69?
Not when drunk or in the morning.

20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW?
Well, now I am.

21. HOW MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS?
81. Exactly. You can add three superfluous BJ's if you want, which would bring the total to 84.

22. DO YOU LIKE SEX IN THE CAR?
Not particularly. Works in a pinch.

23. DO YOU STILL TALK TO THE PERSON YOU LOST VIRGINITY TO?
Damn, I should have done this survey three weeks ago.

24. EVER HAVE SEX WITH A RELATIVE/FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
While they were dating? Yes--Jason, Jen, Elise, and Jeremaiah. To be fair--Jason's girlfriend Meghan (My old best friend) was watching, Jen and Elise were dating each other, and Shannon and I weren't really friends yet, and aren't anymore because she found out.

25. EVER BEEN WITH A CHEATER?
Probably. Although I've never asked anyone to be monogamous to me. Just don't sleep with my daughters, that's my only rule.

26. TOYS, GOOD OR BAD?
I kinda like the old fashioned way.

27. LINGERIE?
Stockings, yes.

28. EVER SLEEP WITH A CO-WORKER?
Once. And he will forever be known as Flaccid Pants, Sparky, or the slightly obscure--"The H stands for HARD".

WHERE HAVE YOU HAD SEX:
[x] park
[x] pool
[x] hot tub
[] church (I've only ever gotten fingered in a church. Actually, it was my first time.)
[] cemetery
[x] school (The Frida Kahlo Room, haha)
[x] parent’s bed
[x] your bed
[x] car
[] public library
[] in a barn
[x] in front of a window (curtains open)
[x] in front of a window (curtains closed)
[] picnic table
[?] in the snow
[] in a tree
[x] same room while a friend was doin it
[x]same room with a friend watching/listening
[x] kitchen table
[x] kitchen counter
[x] couch/chair
[] pool table
[] on top of a bar inside the house
[] front lawn in daylight
[x] at a relatives house while visiting
[x] on top the roof (San Francisco is a wonderful place)
[] on a bus (school/public/coach)
[x] public restroom
[x] dining room/kitchen table
[x] woods
[] hood of a car
[x] bathroom
[x] shower
[x] the other person’s bed
[x] porch/deck/balcony (Hahahaha)
[x] in a house with parents home
[x] at a party
[x] on top of the washer/dryer
[x] with other people in the room
[x] hotel
[] concert
[] at your workplace (or partner's)
[] grandparent’s house
[] field
[x] beach
[] bleachers
[x] golf course
[] tennis court
[x] elevator
[]parking ramp

Bleachers? Damn, I gotta do that.
--M

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Awesome. See if you can guess who:

HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2007?
Yup.

2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE?
yeah, in the taxi was the best. With the taxi driver. Real.

3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX?
I like funny sex in the afternoon.

4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO, WHY?
No.

5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX?
For like 5 minutes, then I'm like 'get off me'

6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE?
Jeez. Yeah. Toats.

7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM?
No, that would require some sort of pump or squirty deflating device.

8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP?
A little is ok, but I HATE the mumblers who mutter stuff the whole time.

9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX:
Yes.

10. EVER MASTERBATE TO YOUR FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
Probably. I think about sandwiches when I masturbate. Sans sexual overtones.

11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND?
...

12. EVER HAVE A THREESOME?
Three or Four. They're exhausting.

13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX?
Yeah, but I'm not so into it. During a blowjob, though...

14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX?
Totally. Sandwiches too. Usually italian lunchmeats.

15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKE?
Yeah, not too long ago, in fact.

16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRISING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE?
Dude, they all involve poo.

17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY?
18.

18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW?
Maybe Bjork. Or Diego Luna. Nah, Bjork.

19. DO YOU LIKE 69?
Sometimes.

20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW?
No, I exhausted myself last night/this morning. I just want to go home and get in bed. To sleep, jerkass.

21. HOW MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS?
Somewhere between 45 and 450.

22. DO YOU LIKE SEX IN THE CAR?
Not really.

23. DO YOU STILL TALK TO THE PERSON YOU LOST VIRGINITY TO?
Mary Ellen? No way dude, she's like the cyclops from The Odyssey.

24. EVER HAVE SEX WITH A RELATIVE/FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
Actually, no.

25. EVER BEEN WITH A CHEATER?
Yeah, this Italian with a big nose and a huge dick. Wait. I meant big dick and a huge nose.

26. TOYS, GOOD OR BAD?
Mmmm neutral.

27. LINGERIE?
Well, I like jockstraps.

28. EVER SLEEP WITH A CO-WORKER?
Twice in my life, both girls.

WHERE HAVE YOU HAD SEX:
[x] park
[] pool
[] hot tub
[] church
[x] cemetery
[] school
[] parent’s bed
[x] your bed
[x] car
[x] public library (we took the T all the way to Tufts)
[] in a barn
[x] in front of a window (curtains open)
[x] in front of a window (curtains closed)
[] picnic table
[] in the snow
[x] in a tree - funny story, actually. In my bf's favorite tree on Berkeley campus.
[x] same room while a friend was doin it
[]same room with a friend watching/listening
[x] kitchen table
[] kitchen counter
[x] couch/chair
[] pool table
[] on top of a bar inside the house
[] front lawn in daylight
[] at a relatives house while visiting
[x] on top the roof (I lost my homoginity on a roof)
[x] on a bus (school/public/coach)
[x] public restroom
[x] dining room/kitchen table
[x] woods
[] hood of a car- this is scary and it makes me think of 'Boys Dont Cry'
[x] bathroom
[x] shower
[x] the other person’s bed
[x] porch/deck/balcony
[x] in a house with parents home
[x] at a party
[] on top of the washer/dryer
[x] with other people in the room
[x] hotel
[] concert
[x] at your workplace (or partner's)
[] grandparent’s house
[x] field
[x] beach
[] bleachers
[] golf course
[] tennis court
[] elevator
[]parking ramp