4.17.2007

Spoon II: A New Hope

Dude, I'm totally not done talking about this.

There is, right now, a boy in my shower. Seriously. Right now. And he happens to bear the same name as my ex boyfriend.

I mean, dude, what the hell is going on? It's now almost two in the afternoon, and I've been laying around all morning spooning with some bitch's boyfriend.

It's spring, and I've changed my sheets four times in the last week, and it hasn't been enough, and I've somehow brought the old idea of playing couple to dizzying new heights. Fuck. And I'm waking up from all of this cuddle-cuddle-pretend-coupledom and there are messages on my phone from previous installations of this, and there is a phone number in my bag from an old friend who, in our heydays, used to pretend couple famously with me. Hmm. Cliff, Nick, Shane.

And Shane--it's funny, you know? Like, when we used to do this, me in his bed when he was my little brother's roomate, I remember thinking then how much he was like Shaun, and I remembered the first time I met him and he made me breakfast in the morning, and damn--that kid can play couple amazingly.

And now? Well, this is great. This is a perfect example because the whole point is about whether sex indicitavely degrades friendship or no--and even if there is a possibility that it wont, is it worth it?

It's spring, and there are so many boys in this city, so why am I spooning with all of my fucking friends? It seems so unneccesary. It's not worth it. I mean, yeah. Sometimes there is recovery--Shaun and I for example. Sometimes I think Jonathan fits into this category. Moto is a perfect example of this.

Oh yeah. Moto. Moto who platonically sleeps in my bed on a weekly basis, and then complains that he's not meeting any women since he moved to San Francisco. I don't have the heart to tell him the same thing I tell myself all the time and never listen to--quit treating someone you're not sleeping with like you're in a relationship. It's not so much that I'm physically cock blocking him--but rather emotionally. Or rather--I think he does this to himself as I do all too often--like when I'm laying around naked, and I'm spooning some boy or another, I start picking him apart like Shaun might, weighing in my head whether or not this boy could really exist in my life under Shaun's scrutiny. For them, meeting Shaun is like meeting the parents. Or at least it should be.

Oh yeah, I have a point. Wait hold on...

Sorry. Had to go show the boy who was in my shower out. He has to work at four. Okay, now--

Wait, what was I saying?
--M

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