"I'm just looking for answers."

Okay, let's just do this.

1F--Other Nick the Writer via text message.
One relapse and he wont get off my jock in this respect. I don't even remember when this exact text message came because there are at least five or six in my inbox exactly like it. He has also taken to calling me at all hours of the day and, unfortunately, night.

2E--Lisa K. via email.
Lisa K., being the Lisa you know and love if you are an avid reader of ye olde blog, has, like me, been pondering how one can be deemed in the wrong solely by singing someones praises. I countered that at least she didn't have to buy a plane ticket because of it.

3A--Crystal via MySpace.
She sent this shortly after a phone conversation in which I was like: "Oh, you know I'm staying with you guys, right?"
Crystal just laughed out loud. "Yeah, dog! I wasn't gonna let you stay at Woody's again. Maybe we can make turkey legs."

4B--Lisa P via email.
This is another Lisa. This Lisa is Erica's husband's friend's girlfriend. She's a mystery writer and an honest to god hopeless romantic. True story. This is no joke--you should hear the story about how her and her boyfriend met each other. It's the stuff of legends.

5G--Erica via phone.
Oh yeah, so Nico broke up with his girlfriend and is moving here on July 8th. Now, I'm going to try and say this fast so you don't quite realize what's going on here and all of the synectics involved, okay? Okay. He's moving in with me for a month. To my credit though, I'll be gone half the time in some other state. That is not a metaphore.

6C--Woody via phone.
I think he knew the answer to this one before he asked it. Also in a strange twist of events, he told me when I was coming. Wait, let me elaborate--He illuded that he knew I was coming very soon. I asked him when I was coming, as in : "So when am I coming to town, Wood?" After some debate, he answered correctly. I told him I'd keep him updated on my flight details, and whathaveyou's, so here.

United 0506 Jul 29 Sunday
Depart: SFO 08:44 PM
Arrive: SEA 10:41 PM

29 Jun Sun 11:00 PM Renting Economy car in SEA
02 Jul Wed 08:00 PM Returning Economy car in SEA

SWA Jul 2 Wed Nonstop SEA-OAK 3168
Depart Seattle/Tacoma(SEA) at 8:05PM
Arrive in Oakland(OAK) at 10:10PM

I'm sure he'll get it if I leave it here. Oh, that brings me to:

7D--Amanda via MySpace.
Oh, yeah. Go back and read that one. See that part where I say that I'm coming on the 30th? Yeah. That's what I told them, but I just couldn't continue with the charade. I mean, I didn't outright lie to my two best girlfriends--I haven't called them since I actually bought my plane ticket--but I was planning to let them continue to think this. I figured I'd just stay the night somewhere else, have lunch with Hunts or something the next day, then put on my tracksuit and drive over to thier house like I just got off of a plane. Yeah. I am a cunt. I can't believe I had convinced myself that this was a plausible thing for one friend to do to another. I mean, this is an outright act of chicane bitchery and it's fucked that I even thought I might do that. But, to my credit, they will forgive me. They will forgive me because everyone understands what it is like to want to pretend for just one more night without dissaproving glances from people who not only know what's best for you, but know that you know what's best for you.

So, I hope I've cleared some things up.

May Cake help us all.


disestablishingpuritanism said...

Waaaasssuuuup bitches. I like your stalker angle. Since I have limited resources and am too lazy to download shit, I might have to take a similar approach to attract more readers.

lisa said...

Chatch doesn't need to attract readers; she's a rock star! Oh, and the fabu K read the email volley and decided I misinterpretted. Gee, really? ME? Read more into something that wasn't there? Sheesh...