Paperwork Palace

My life has been reduced to listening to hold music.

I went to the doctor again today, and met with my case manager who is now in charge of handling the synectics of my physical and mental health. She asked me to describe an average day, to get a feeling of how I was doing.

"Lately? Or like, normally?"

This is me talking, of course. The subtext is that I'm constantly wondering what normal feels like; if I'm normal on meds or off them or was before or am now or haven't been in a long time. She replied yes, lately.

"I wake up around 8. I make some coffee on a good day. A bad one I have tea because I don't feel like waking up. Then I get on the phone and wait on hold forever. I call the bank, the Department of Labor, one of my lawyers, one of my doctors, Planned Parenthood, The Hope line, The Help line, 311, The Tenants Advocacy Board, my super because the fucking heat isn't working again, my bank because my ACH number has changed, my sister because I can't deal, my Mom because...why not? Then I go to all the places they tell me to go, then I come home to a dining table full of paperwork that I add some more crap to, then I avoid organizing it. Then I go to sleep."

She nodded. Slowly. Then she smiled.

"Okay," she said, "when do you eat?"


p.s.--I seem to have plateaued at 129 lbs--at least, I was weighed to that number three times in a row in the span of 10 days. The upside, I'm not losing anymore weight, right?

1 comment:

Miranda Moure said...

Okay, wait. This is funny, because I recently posed that I OMIT the boring stuff, and this is an entire post about said stuff.

I get a pass today. Today.