I'd use my best line on you.

I've been archive hunting.

I've been contemplating a new template that would have variable headers for different types of pages and each would need a tagline or a phrase, about 5 total. Anyway, I've realized that the five best/most repeated lines from IAAJD were said by somebody other than me. You know how we're gonna do this, right?

5. "So there I was..."
This is how former Duck Island Alehouse bartender Jeremiah Harrison starts a story. I often start a story this way too, and I credit him for this practice.

4. "You better start bloggin' away, bitch."
This was first left on my voicemail in October of 2007 by Lisa. This is what she says when she wants the details of something I'm being purposely vague about on the internet.

3. "Stories are all we have."
This was originally...in a poem? I mean, I know I once put it in a poem, but I stole this particular line because I knew the original author would be in the audience the night I debuted it on the mic. This was said by Nicholas "Nick the Writer" Mathisen. Also, I am suddenly remembering that he said this to me in an email in response to me inviting him out to hear some of my wordsmith friends read at Spec's in North Beach a Monday night long ago.

2. "I love you! No wait, that's gross. I don't love you."
This one was said by Bryan Kreiger. Mid coitus. The night I met him. This post is actually from our old gang blog, but I think of Team Tenderloin as a supplement to IAAJD.

I think we know the first one.

1. "And by cuddle I mean doggy."
This was, of course, Nicholas "Other Nick the Writer" Douglas. Still brilliant after all these years.

I can only come up with a few that I have said myself that I didn't steal.

"True story."

"I don't speak French."

And then there's this one. It disturbs me that I've required its use several times.

"Please tell me something to make this okay."

I have never directed this line to anyone but Lisa. Her best advice in these scenarios involves burning bedsheets at Baker Beach.

Unless they have really high threadcount.

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